HGTV is a strange obsession of mine. I don’t own a home, can’t fix anything, and I decorate my apartment by dropping socks everywhere. I really have no business watching the channel. Maybe it appeals to the better side of me, a side that will never see the light of day.
One of my favorite shows on the channel is House Hunters, and its sister program House Hunters: International.
It goes like this: A couple (and once in a while, some single person) wants a new house. A realtor takes them to three different homes, and at the end of the episode they choose one. Simple. Why they only get to see three houses is beyond me. I know very little about looking for a home, but I’d like to think you get to see more than three before plunking down a few hundred grand.
Anyhow, the game is simple. You follow along with the House Hunters as they view each place. You listen to their commentary, and based on what they say, try and figure out which house they like best. Near the end of the program, everyone in the room debates and makes a guess as to which one they’ll pick.
“He wants the big deck, he’s going Number 2!!”
“Are you a moron? They hated the kitchen. They’re gonna go with Number 1.”
“You’re all retarded. They wanted a master bedroom on the same floor with the kids. Number 3, baby!”
The show comes back from commercial break, and…
A house is chosen. The winner gets to do a dance and gloat about their Sherlock Holmes-like deductive skills.
Luckily HGTV likes to run these shows one after the other, so you get multiple chances to play in one night.
Holy shit, is this how adults have fun now?